I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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