he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
