i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
