do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
