do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
