so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize