My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
