I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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