So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
