just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
All the doctor said was why
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
