Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
