I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Holy sore nipples Batman
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
