8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
