I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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