You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
