Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
