Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize