So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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