I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Everything about him screamed your future.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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