my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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