i wish peter jackson would direct porn
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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