i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
