i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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