well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Randomize