I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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