I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize