FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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