i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
