You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
We had sex on a dog bed..
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
