so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
