Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
