Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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