I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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