chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
