Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
