I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
