Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
The air taste purple.
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