I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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