He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
As shirtless as possible
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
