If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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