A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
He shit in the fireplace
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
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