i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
