O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
