Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
