in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Randomize
