I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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