just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
