Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize