either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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