The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i used baking grease as lip gloss
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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