for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
