After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
