so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Randomize
