She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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