porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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