Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
