he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
i out mim tonsoeep
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