apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize