some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
It's just like the Real World with babies
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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