i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Randomize
