Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
