Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
