Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize