So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
