Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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