so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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