Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
