please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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