that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
